I'm starting to think I'm making drama for myself I gave myself these problems. There was nothing wrong with me but I just keep over thinking it time after time. I used to think I couldn't play sports because I sucked at it and I did but that wasn't the reason I couldn't play it was because I didn't believe that I could. Same here I keep thinking I can't be a man because I have feminine traits but I can be a man with feminine traits same as I can play sports just that I didn't learn and give myself the support I needed. I kept thinking as a child it was because I wasn't good and true I wasn't good but not everyone is good at it some like me have to start from the bottom. Just like some guys are feminine doesn't mean they have to feel like that makes them a woman. I never understood what it was to be a guy and than I realized it, it's everything I've always looked for. I don't need to put on makeup to feel good it could be fun but it's just mostly tedious. I also realize I love wearing comfortable guys clothes. I was never brought up to love myself as a boy instead hating it because I wasn't able to be a girl seeing this documentary on two guys changing back I realize I could not be happy. I would never feel as a woman. I can feel like a man as a woman but never as just a woman.
I'm not even sure I'd want to be a woman unless it was something that was easy. I realized I never cared about myself how I looked but I do now. My obsession has lead me into bad situations but helped me at the same time look into myself and see that I'm a man I'll never be able to feel like a woman. The more I think I realize feeling like a woman wouldn't be enough I would still for myself not be a woman. Besides that I no longer feel like I would want to entail the things that means to be a woman. It might be fun but dressing up everyday and being a girl is so difficult. I don't know I wish we were educated about these things earlier. I feel like I can't find someone I'd love because I lost that person being so confused with myself. Sometimes I feel the only reason I want to be a woman is to live out a fantasy as in doing womanly things but sometimes I feel even that feels boring. It wouldn't be me. I've tried it and now I'm just back to square one.

I lost so much time thinking of myself as a girl. I'll never be happy.
I guess this is because I'm gay. Now I know not all gay guys act feminine but there must be a reason why some do...I feel like it's because they identify with being a woman.
I wasted so much time that I lost the girl that I liked. I became so depressed after that. I never had any friends in high school where you are supposed to find yourself. I lost myself. I had thought I was a girl for so long instead of focusing on other things. I kept thinking I was doing things that were making me happy but only for that moment. Afterwards now I regret it all. I wasted time thinking I was a girl only to be empty and alone.
I should have spent this time with people I loved and at that time one person in particular. Family and just going out and enjoying life, as in nature and sports. Something besides staying home and on the computer. So much time spent doing girl things that later I didn't even care about anymore. Like I watched these shows saying how I'd always love them, nope as I grew up I stopped caring. I didn't even give a shit anymore. I spent so much time on things and they didn't even matter at the end. The one person that did I've lost her. Maybe she never liked me back but I wish I would have at least told her. I wish I would have done more things in life than let it pass me by. I never understood that life can just pass you by like that.
I've wasted it thinking I was a girl. In the end I gained nothing. I lost the one person who I cared about. I lost a life full of memories to one full of regrets.
Maybe I'm just not normal. I know I'm the only one that feels this way. I told my mom but the more I told her how much I knew this and that I realized I hated everything I've done.
I don't believe in destiny. I only believe in choices. The choices I've made were all bad. It's one thing to do things you truly think are right and just not doing them for whatever other reason, fear, seclusion.
Soon that girl I like might get married and every time I just headaches seeing how I lost her. I hate the guy she's with. I think out of all the regrets she's now the top of the list.
I know it's not healthy but I keep on thinking of what could have been. We'd be married yadda, yadda, kids, grandparents. All the things I didn't think about before is now the things I only think about. All the friend I've met since my regret have been okay. The girls I know are either nothing like her nice, or completely negative.
I guess that's always been something I wanted to blame on someone for being so confused about who I was. Or rather I thought of myself as a girl but slowly I realized I was wasting my time. In the end I'd never go through with transitioning and it would never make me feel complete. I wasn't searching for happiness but only what made me happy at that moment. The thought of being a girl was what made me happy for the moment. My actual happines I realized was to be with someone I love. That person I've yet to encounter. Well I had but then again she could have easily not felt the same. Okay I don't know what's the purpose of this post.

I think if it can truly help us than it is good. Overall I from thinking it's a good thing because cures could be found and so I feel it is good.
I think it should be funded by the government. It has such great potential to help us. If more diseases can be helped than it will be great. Even some stuff that may seem small like broken blood vessels, scar tissue, ligaments, tendons, smooth muscle, flesh, lost body parts can be regenerated can give other people so much more to life.
I myself have several different things that if stem cells are powerful enough could possibly help me than why not?
Yes I sound bias but I because I am in a bad condition I understand what difference in quality of life it could possibly do for me. Having a functioning leg etc, fixing parts of your body without having to use robots or mechanical stuff is a much different feeling. Regenerating parts of the body is something that would definitely make me happier.
The thing is if it can actually help people with life how could it be dangerous. Even religious people, other debating people, everyone knows someone who goes through these things.

I don't think this is the same way for all but I realize that we are not born with gender identity and that it is formed through our interactions. Granted I don't think this is true for everyone because I'm sure some people somehow already know or they were all taught I don't really understand. I just know in my case that I thought I was female so I assumed a female identity no one helped me figure out I was male. I formed them based on interactions and connections to people. This happens with the members of the same sex. I guess I never really had any same-sex bonds or really any bonds at all and therefore I never had an identity with being male. First it comes from your same-sex parents than your peers. Growing up I didn't bond with either my father or my male peers or I did but not really. I bonded more with my female peers. I never figured out what it meant, the reason, or how I was a guy. I never formed good same-sex bonds with anyone. Although I did have friends of the same-sex there was no bond. My father and I never really had "bonding" time. Nor did I have it outside of the house. I didn't bond with same-sex peers. My needs to form healthy bonds were never met and the connection was never there. This need got worst and took on possibly another form. During puberty the needs take on a sexual form. This is where the sexuality part comes into play. Temperament would probably play a role as well.
I understand however this is not the case for all people. However looking at myself I know that this is the reason I am how I am today. It leaves me feeling sad. It's my fault I think. I never had attempted to connect with anyone of my gender. Why? Because I was thinking I was a female when in actuality I just never learned my true gender.

I just told my mom that I'm not normal and that I'm a homosexual. I told her I acted feminine. I don't know how she took it. I guess she kept on asking me if I was gay and I said yes. And then she asked me what men I liked. I said I don't know. I said I knew for a long time I liked men. She said you don't like women anymore? I said I don't know. Well I do know one girl I that'll never be off my mind is "her" she was the best girl I could have met. But my stupid self decided that I didn't and shouldn't love her but I did. I secretly did. Many more women I secretly loved. Only one I've told and she was in a relationship. She rejected me and told me, we don't match, which I guess is true.
God I'm a homosexual who is lost.

I feel so lost as if am I a woman or a man.  I from the beginning feel like I was feminine. As I got older I felt less compelled to be so feminine. I guess I kept some qualities. I am becoming so depressed because I feel like the lot of my life has been dedicated to transitioning or this wanting to be a woman but now 20 years down the line I don't feel like that's where I want to go anymore but it feels so late to turn back. I've basically cut everything from my life that a typical guy would do. And what did I get out of it? Regretting my decision. I know many transgendered people know from the beginning and never regret. But I feel like I was holding back on what I really wanted. I thought I wanted to transition but slowly I felt like I was actually in the wrong position. I was avoiding everything I actually really wanted. I wanted to learn how to play sports and have activities that boys did. But that girl in me said to not care. But in actuality I did care I just didn't want to believe that I did because I was in such a rebellion stage. I kept thinking I wouldn't care and basically gave my dad that attitude but inside I was being fearful. Scared to show that I was weak and needed to learn from someone. I also held myself back to be a girl. I lost my best friend and the girl I loved since who knows when to become something I'm not wanting anymore. I said I didn't care about my health when my grandma told me how to grow. I just wanted to not agree because I didn't want I didn't want to let her be right and let myself truly care for my height/health. I just wanted myself to be right. I was too blind to see everyone was helping me be happy but I was stuck on trying to be a girl which made me in the end become unhappy. I'm no longer that guy that wants to be a girl anymore. But my life feels so far from where it was that I don't think I could change it anymore. Basically it feels I've cornered myself. I can't function as a human being. I guess if I realized I was doing the wrong thing for myself all along I would have been able to snap out of it if I woke up when I was younger. I feel like all hope is lost now. I don't even know how to a man or a guy anymore.

2 years ago or more can't remember my mom back in October or whenever. I had this huge problem with my mom and fought with her over how she needs to leave my dad because he makes our lives messed up. I kept on saying it was his fault that my life is the way it is. Sure they both have effected my life and how I am messed up. But at the core I realized how much I do love my mom. She stood by me through all my shittiest moments including my most depressing breakdown. I've never felt THIS shitty before. I now realized she cares about me and even though I've had many fights with her I love her deeply. I don't know how I would have the ability to live on without her. She means the world to me. I kept crying and she kept telling me maybe it's all good even though I told her this time it's not like last time. This time I know I'm doomed. I just realized how much I love my mom. She's been as loving and as supportive as ever. However I do wish I had thought about my stupid actions back then before I did them. Now I have to worry and make her worry and the look in her eyes lets me know she fears for me and is very sad to hear me tell her about my situation. She told me that seeing me like this is hurting her and I can feel it both in her voice and eyes. She tried not to tear and she succeeded but the wet eyes said it all.
I'm so sorry mom that I did something so stupid.

On a side note. I had a fortune one that said I need to let go and the other saying everything will be fine. Conflicting and scary. I got the let go of stuff one first which is why it's so scary.

I wanna cry and I am no longer a woman or a guy. I never connected with my maleness more and less at the same time than the last few two years.

I realized i will always want to be a girl but I am not as strong as the people who can go through the whole ordeal. I'll just live as a man both because I'm scared and because I just don't want to go through everything.

I wanted to be a girl for a long time. I never did much besides cross-dress. I was always too scared. Two years before this year I started manipulating my penis to make it bigger when in fact I damaged it. Because of this I no longer want to transition and I've been scared even more so because now my penis won't ever function. Stem cells are so far any kind of science feels so far away from being able to treat me. I still want to be a girl but I don't think I want to put my body through cutting off my penis. I'm so scared now.